took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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