it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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