If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
