I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
