"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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