Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
