Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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