I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
