Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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