whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
