i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I wish you could order shots online.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
