he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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