well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
When are your genitals available?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
