im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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