he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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