Porn is love you can see.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
