i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
