careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
