he wants to bone in the snuggie
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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