If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
