It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize