I love black thongs
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
