I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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