sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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