Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I stole a fireplace last night.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
false alarm, still single
PANTIES FOUND
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