You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
