Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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