he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
sex in a hospital.. check
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Randomize
