What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
