i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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