Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
