Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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