The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
