Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
