If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
