it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
