Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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