help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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