just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
