pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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