Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
