I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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