She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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