so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
