I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
