if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
