how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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