Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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