Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
