I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
